From relationship to relationship, whether for business or pleasure, we are the common denominator. It stands to reason then that the person we most need to deal with, understand, and put up with is ourselves. If we can’t bear to be by ourselves for even a few minutes, how can we expect others to endure us for any length of time? We have to be able to stand ourselves before we can hazard asking others to put up with us. What steps can we take then to get to know ourselves and learn to tolerate and understand the person we are closest to, ourselves? It seems odd to ask the question, “Do I even like myself?”
Many people seem perfectly self-satisfied, but what our habits on social media say is that we need to check in with others all the time to check our pulse, relay our latest thoughts, document our behaviors, and let our needs and wants be known. We often allow others to know our deepest thoughts, desires, opinions, and dislikes, but, when we have to really work to sit down and make a list that allows us to face this rule book roster of wants and aesthetic demands, we might seem more intolerant that tolerable. Just what is it in us that causes this?
If we were to spend a minute surveying our list, we might seem more like a task master than a mate or a friend. We are the masters of our fate, and we have free will, and we are making ourselves happy, aren’t we? Yes, we are. We like the decisions we make, the values we have, the sense of direction we are going, and the morals we support. We have our ideals, our ideas, our standards, and our moral indignities. We are filled with faith, belief, and patriotism. We have opinions we are proud to share, armchair psychology we don’t mine espousing, and we are full of advice on every topic from ships to shoelaces. We are supremely sure, ultimately secure, indubitably satiated, and reliably fulfilled. If only we could find our keys, our wallets, our glasses, our purses, and the reasons we once thought it might have been a grand idea to own those now outdated pieces of technology, statements of fashion, or leisure habits. Okay, it may be that we still hold certain ideas as inalienable rights, even if we would not allow our children to hold them. We still approach certain moments with nostalgia and sympathy. We all have that secret stash of things that are a holdover from past relationships: the odd photo, the scented letter, the playing card, the ticket stub, or the trinket of broken tidbit trophy from some special night from long ago. But we cannot imagine that the person we are talking to has any such things that he or she relates to. We are alone in the world, and things only go wrong in just this way where everything goes totally sideways, only for us alone among all human beings, for we are unique. We rationalize what we do under the duress of being so different that we alone are the case and need this dispensation and it is up to the entire world to understand that we are indeed not hypocritical but rather have these extenuating circumstances that allow us this need for special designation status. And this is why we are so much in need of this incredible understanding from others, even though we would never dare to give such a wide berth to others who are merely lazy and have no clue of the immense burden we carry in our spiritual quest as we make our way across the universe to deliver our much needed messages of distain and superiority. We alone are the answer to the questions that are set before us. After all, why else would these questions be placed at our feet? We have thoughts, and we must share them. And this is how well we know ourselves. We have every intention of making our way through this morass of self-indulgence, as soon as we have straightened out everyone else. We have all this wonderful advice to give, and, in fact, we mean to follow it ourselves as soon as we are able. Our nutritional advice will give us the bodies of gods, and our intellectual understanding will make us into cultural geniuses. Above all, our in-depth understanding of the human condition will make us masters over our own hearts, and we be able to commune with the angels and speak from high heaven’s gate, as soon as we get over our latest ailments, can afford better food, get back on our feet, and our ship comes in. Yes, we are the ones we have waited and practiced for. We are ready to take ourselves on as our own best students. In our next lives, we are going to take all of our own great advice and learn how to communicate like the wind as it blows through the trees, across the prairie, and along the graceful slopes of the very mountains we speak of so highly, maybe next summer, when we give up cigarettes, and have a little time to ourselves.
Written by runningturtle87
Aff'nity 